The goth connection. Part II

Some things are just too weird. Some of these same things can be great examples of how we shouldn't see the preternatural in every oddly shaped shadow.

A continuation of a Goth checklist that I started dissecting a few days ago.

Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

So does that make computer geeks Goth? Goodness knows a lot of anime fans dress, act, and speak eccentrically, but they aren't necessarily goth. A lot of them are really nice people (if just a little nuts).

Oh heck, just include anyone who isn't in your clique and you have people who fit this description.

Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

I have heard that teens are likely to start doubting their faith and move away from religion for a time (at least). For me it was the opposite. I was seriously doubting my faith at age six, but by age sixteen I was a lot firmer.

Also, the first three activities just aren't considered 'cool.' A lot of teenagers are obsessed with fitting in and being 'cool.' The Bible reading part gets even worse if you're using the King James version (good lord that thing's hard to wade through). And let's face it, some sermons are just plain dull.

As for sports... I'm not entirely convinced it's a 'wholesome' activity. But then I never did like phy. ed.

Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

Uhhhhh. This merits further breaking down.

DEATH: Only involves Satan in that death came into the word via sin. And people have widely assumed that the serpent in the Genesis story is Satan, though that is never actually stated and as far as I've been able to tell it's just a normal snake. Maybe possessed, but that isn't stated or even indicated.

That being said, an obsession with death could likely mean some sort of depression. Or maybe the kid just wants to know what really happens after we die. I know I wondered about that. A lot. Of course, I knew a lot of old people so I heard about death a lot. Do all old people read the obituaries and talk about the people who died? It's kinda depressing, isn't it?

I wouldn't worry unless every other conversation is dominated by the subject.

VAMPIRES: What? You mean they aren't cool? Okay, trying to *be* a vampire isn't exactly healthy, but ever since Bram Stoker published this little work called "Dracula" everyone and their uncle has tried to cash in on the genre. Heck, some have even tried casting vampires as the good guys!

That isn't to say there isn't a darker side to all this. (There has got to be a better way of phrasing that, but I'm afraid if I try it'll only get worse.) Some people involved what could quite easily be called Satan worship are also into vampires. That is not to say that everyone who is into vampires worships Satan. Heck, I like vampire stories. I'd probably like Hellsing (the manga, not the movie) if it wasn't so antagonistic toward the Catholic Church. The only problem with trying to find vampire stories is that a lot of them get pretty close to erotic.

Now that's a problem. Vampires are pretty closely associated with the erotic. Blame Mr. Stoker. There's some pretty hot and heavy stuff in that book which is probably more obvious to someone used to the language used back then. But anyway, if I knew someone interested in vampires I'd be a lot more worried about a side interest in porn than Satanism. (Though both aren't particularly good for one's spiritual well being.)

MAGIC: Don't burn that trading card game!

Seriously, folks, there's magic and then there's magic. Fantasy magic is just that, fantasy. It's made up by someone to suit the needs of the story. People can have a lot of interest in fantasy, wizards, and that sort of thing without going bad. And, no, AD&D is not the work of the Devil.

Stage magic isn't even magic. It's slight of hand and a sort of basic psychology with the aid of gadgets and special effects. It also makes one heck of a good show. Pick a card, any card.

Then there's the really nasty stuff. The real thing. This can happen when someone takes their interest in fantasy a little too far, forgets the line separating real from fiction, and tries to cast a spell for real. And that brings us too:

OCCULT/WITCHCRAFT: Know what it is, do a little reading if you must, and then STAY BACK! This sort of thing is like trying to handle plutonium with bare hands. Really stupid and guaranteed to have a bad effect. Even something like a Ouija board which is packaged as a game of all things is a really bad, bad, stupid idea. Kid has questions? Fine. Questions are good. Tries to actually do this stuff? Worry. A lot.

Takes drugs.

Yeah, this is a cause for concern. But a lot of people take drugs and aren't Goth, Satan worshipers, or otherwise involved in other worldly pursuits.

Still, get the kid help. Might not be much of a dent on the spirit, but the effect on the body isn't any picnic.

Drinks alcohol.

Remember, these are teens we're talking about here. And same as the drugs thing. Though you know in some parts of the world the drinking age is 16.

Is suicidal and/or depressed.

There's a word for this, it's clinical depression. It can be pretty tough to deal with and has a very mundane explanation. Serotonin imbalance. A few other brain chemicals could be involved, too, but that's the main one. Happens a lot. Could be trauma induced, could be just something wonky with whatever gland produces the chemicals. There are very pious people with this problem. (I suspect that a lot of the people who give Catholics their guilt-ridden reputation have this.) There are ways to help, but do everyone a favor and don't bring paranormal paranoia into the mix.

Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

Mental health center, good. Rest of it... Uh...

I don't know, maybe it is a ritual, but for most people it's once again that brain chemical imbalance that I mentioned earlier. It's sad, it's self-distructive, and it doesn't really do anyone else any good either. But, again, don't go all paranoid about demons and such.

Complains of boredom.

The person who made this list never had kids. I can tell.

Sleeps too excessively or too little.

Again, never had kids. Puberty can do all sort of things to the cercadian rhythm.

Is excessively awake during the night.

Ditto. And some people are just night owls. Sounds like me, actually. Sure, night is a great time for Satanic rituals, but please, can't a person be a little noctural without raising suspicion?

Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

Or it could be one of several medical disorders that make people sensitive to light. Could also be that the kid has a habit of staying up too late and has a nearly perpetual headache. Migraines are awful for light sensitivity.

Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

Three words: Never had kids. Name one teenager that doesn't want a deadbolt on their bedroom door.

Spends large amounts of time alone.

Ditto. Did this guy ever even *see* a teenager?

Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through meditation.)

Six words: You have got to be kidding.

In case anyone is actually worried, no. All that alone time and quietness is for the same reason they want privacy. Because they want to do their own thing. For me it was writing and drawing. Also trying to do homework without interruptions. Some kids might just want to be away from annoying siblings, terminally un-cool parents, or just the unfairness of life. If you want details, read Zits.

Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

Again, read Zits.

Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

Ditto. Though good discipline might be required.

Misbehaves at school.
Misbehaves at home.

The human condition. Though based on the severity of the behavior it might be a little concerning. No need to worry about the preternatural, though.

Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

Cue maniacal laughing now.

Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

Drinking blood is not a good idea. Especially if it's someone else's blood. And animal blood isn't exactly sanitary. Believing it's how to attain Satan? No idea but I somewhat doubt it. (From what I've read about real life vampires, or anyway those who think they're vampires, they see it more as a sex act.)

Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

If this nut hadn't lost me before he'd had done it with this. I didn't know there were still people out there who saw cable as evil. Sure, there's a lot of garbage, but evidence of being Goth? The road to Hell? Tell me this is a joke.

Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

Video games vary a lot in quality. I happen to like first person shooters that dock points for hitting a civilian. There are also some really cool ones where you fight monsters. And role-playing games are kinda like acting, with a lot of improve and cool battle scenes.

Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

Remember what I said about computer geeks at the start of this post? Yeah? Thought so.

I think that's enough for now.

The goth connection.

Some things are just too weird.

Like what is 'goth' anyway? I know how it's presented on TV, but what is it really? I have yet to run into two consistent definitions.

The Goths historically were a Germanic tribe, like the Franks, Vandals, Saxons, and Jutes. Then there are the Gothic cathedrals, which were marvels of artistry and engineering. The first use of flying buttresses, as I recall.

Nowadays, the word 'goth' is connected with wearing black, garish makeup, and horror stories involving women in semi-transparent lingerie being chased through moonlit graveyards. Vampires are often involved.

It's also the target of extremely oversensitive people. Usually oversensitive people who see Satan at work behind everything they don't like or aren't familiar with. I already mocked one such (or maybe more than one, I don't have an original source for the list) on my Livejournal. Thing is, buried waaay deep under all the horse hockey was an actual point. So I'm going to analyze the list again, but in more detail and a little more seriously.

Also note that all of the following is supposed to apply to teenagers.

The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

I don't know about that, but most of the list is best described as what comes out of the south end of a north-bound horse.

Frequently wears black clothing.

... Could also be Emo, which isn't particularly healthy but I wouldn't give the kid a shower with holy water. Or maybe the kid just likes to wear black. Could be the 'in' thing and s/he is trying to fit in. Of course, if the kid wears nothing but black, I'd kinda worry about that kid's fashion sense.

Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

Oh I love this one. I don't know about high school, but during my first stint in college I could throw a rock and stand a pretty good chance of hitting someone wearing a t-shirt like this. Does that mean they're goth or making deals with the devil?

No. They might have questionable taste in music (if you can call some of that noise music) but I wouldn't use this as a basis for judging the state of their immortal soul.

Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

Poor taste, yes, Satan worship, I doubt it.

Granted, this is a rather common assumption for what Goths and Emos look like. Do they actually wear a lot of black makeup and all? Possibly, and I can't imagine anyone else who'd want to do that except maybe as part of a cosplay or for a Halloween costume. But then I don't know most people.

Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.

Oh, this is where it gets good. For one thing, some people like silver or just look better with silver as opposed to gold jewelry. I've seen Christian jewelry done in silver, also Celtic knots and any of a number of other odd and interesting patterns done in silver.

As for the examples, this really deserves more detail.

Reversed crosses: Are sometimes used to mock Christianity. It's also the symbol of St. Peter (you know, the first Pope) as he is reputed to have requested to be crucified upside down so as not to be killed in the exact same manner as Jesus. Frankly, I'd be more worried about a crow's foot. That's sort of like an inverted cross, but with the cross-piece broken so it resembles a peace sign without the circle. (Which has caused all sorts of insanity. I'd really like to beat my head against a wall sometimes.)

Pentagram/pentacle: This one I'd actually be a little concerned about if it's upside down. It has been used as a Satanic symbol for hundreds of years. On the other hand, it's also how kids start out drawing stars. I don't think a lot of people realize the significance of this symbol and wear it in jewelry because it looks neat and (in the case of teenagers) it gets a rise out of their parents.

Ankh: Since when is an ankh a Satanic symbol? I know it's kinda popular in the New Age crowd, but aside from it's origins as the Egyptian symbol for life I really don't find anything particularly threatening about it.

Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

Uh... I think the person who made this list has never heard of teenagers. Moving on.

Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

Okay. I would be a little concerned about someone who claims to be the anti-Christ, even if it is for publicity. Aside from that, what is meant by 'anti-social genres'? I listen to a lot of rock from the 60s and 70s. Incense and Peppermint, anyone? Maybe Age of Aquarius? How about New Age music? Oh, man, I must be the most immoral person on the planet.

Not really. I don't buy the philosophy of New Age, I just like the music. And I wouldn't dream of doing half of the stuff in that old rock.

On the other hand, music is a powerful medium. No, not that kind of medium. Some people are more suggestible than I am and there are songs that promote some pretty nasty stuff. I'd take it more on a song by song basis, though, rather than condemning an entire genre.


Okay, this is getting long. I'm going to make a second part later.