The goth connection. Part II

Some things are just too weird. Some of these same things can be great examples of how we shouldn't see the preternatural in every oddly shaped shadow.

A continuation of a Goth checklist that I started dissecting a few days ago.

Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

So does that make computer geeks Goth? Goodness knows a lot of anime fans dress, act, and speak eccentrically, but they aren't necessarily goth. A lot of them are really nice people (if just a little nuts).

Oh heck, just include anyone who isn't in your clique and you have people who fit this description.

Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

I have heard that teens are likely to start doubting their faith and move away from religion for a time (at least). For me it was the opposite. I was seriously doubting my faith at age six, but by age sixteen I was a lot firmer.

Also, the first three activities just aren't considered 'cool.' A lot of teenagers are obsessed with fitting in and being 'cool.' The Bible reading part gets even worse if you're using the King James version (good lord that thing's hard to wade through). And let's face it, some sermons are just plain dull.

As for sports... I'm not entirely convinced it's a 'wholesome' activity. But then I never did like phy. ed.

Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

Uhhhhh. This merits further breaking down.

DEATH: Only involves Satan in that death came into the word via sin. And people have widely assumed that the serpent in the Genesis story is Satan, though that is never actually stated and as far as I've been able to tell it's just a normal snake. Maybe possessed, but that isn't stated or even indicated.

That being said, an obsession with death could likely mean some sort of depression. Or maybe the kid just wants to know what really happens after we die. I know I wondered about that. A lot. Of course, I knew a lot of old people so I heard about death a lot. Do all old people read the obituaries and talk about the people who died? It's kinda depressing, isn't it?

I wouldn't worry unless every other conversation is dominated by the subject.

VAMPIRES: What? You mean they aren't cool? Okay, trying to *be* a vampire isn't exactly healthy, but ever since Bram Stoker published this little work called "Dracula" everyone and their uncle has tried to cash in on the genre. Heck, some have even tried casting vampires as the good guys!

That isn't to say there isn't a darker side to all this. (There has got to be a better way of phrasing that, but I'm afraid if I try it'll only get worse.) Some people involved what could quite easily be called Satan worship are also into vampires. That is not to say that everyone who is into vampires worships Satan. Heck, I like vampire stories. I'd probably like Hellsing (the manga, not the movie) if it wasn't so antagonistic toward the Catholic Church. The only problem with trying to find vampire stories is that a lot of them get pretty close to erotic.

Now that's a problem. Vampires are pretty closely associated with the erotic. Blame Mr. Stoker. There's some pretty hot and heavy stuff in that book which is probably more obvious to someone used to the language used back then. But anyway, if I knew someone interested in vampires I'd be a lot more worried about a side interest in porn than Satanism. (Though both aren't particularly good for one's spiritual well being.)

MAGIC: Don't burn that trading card game!

Seriously, folks, there's magic and then there's magic. Fantasy magic is just that, fantasy. It's made up by someone to suit the needs of the story. People can have a lot of interest in fantasy, wizards, and that sort of thing without going bad. And, no, AD&D is not the work of the Devil.

Stage magic isn't even magic. It's slight of hand and a sort of basic psychology with the aid of gadgets and special effects. It also makes one heck of a good show. Pick a card, any card.

Then there's the really nasty stuff. The real thing. This can happen when someone takes their interest in fantasy a little too far, forgets the line separating real from fiction, and tries to cast a spell for real. And that brings us too:

OCCULT/WITCHCRAFT: Know what it is, do a little reading if you must, and then STAY BACK! This sort of thing is like trying to handle plutonium with bare hands. Really stupid and guaranteed to have a bad effect. Even something like a Ouija board which is packaged as a game of all things is a really bad, bad, stupid idea. Kid has questions? Fine. Questions are good. Tries to actually do this stuff? Worry. A lot.

Takes drugs.

Yeah, this is a cause for concern. But a lot of people take drugs and aren't Goth, Satan worshipers, or otherwise involved in other worldly pursuits.

Still, get the kid help. Might not be much of a dent on the spirit, but the effect on the body isn't any picnic.

Drinks alcohol.

Remember, these are teens we're talking about here. And same as the drugs thing. Though you know in some parts of the world the drinking age is 16.

Is suicidal and/or depressed.

There's a word for this, it's clinical depression. It can be pretty tough to deal with and has a very mundane explanation. Serotonin imbalance. A few other brain chemicals could be involved, too, but that's the main one. Happens a lot. Could be trauma induced, could be just something wonky with whatever gland produces the chemicals. There are very pious people with this problem. (I suspect that a lot of the people who give Catholics their guilt-ridden reputation have this.) There are ways to help, but do everyone a favor and don't bring paranormal paranoia into the mix.

Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

Mental health center, good. Rest of it... Uh...

I don't know, maybe it is a ritual, but for most people it's once again that brain chemical imbalance that I mentioned earlier. It's sad, it's self-distructive, and it doesn't really do anyone else any good either. But, again, don't go all paranoid about demons and such.

Complains of boredom.

The person who made this list never had kids. I can tell.

Sleeps too excessively or too little.

Again, never had kids. Puberty can do all sort of things to the cercadian rhythm.

Is excessively awake during the night.

Ditto. And some people are just night owls. Sounds like me, actually. Sure, night is a great time for Satanic rituals, but please, can't a person be a little noctural without raising suspicion?

Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

Or it could be one of several medical disorders that make people sensitive to light. Could also be that the kid has a habit of staying up too late and has a nearly perpetual headache. Migraines are awful for light sensitivity.

Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

Three words: Never had kids. Name one teenager that doesn't want a deadbolt on their bedroom door.

Spends large amounts of time alone.

Ditto. Did this guy ever even *see* a teenager?

Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through meditation.)

Six words: You have got to be kidding.

In case anyone is actually worried, no. All that alone time and quietness is for the same reason they want privacy. Because they want to do their own thing. For me it was writing and drawing. Also trying to do homework without interruptions. Some kids might just want to be away from annoying siblings, terminally un-cool parents, or just the unfairness of life. If you want details, read Zits.

Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

Again, read Zits.

Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

Ditto. Though good discipline might be required.

Misbehaves at school.
Misbehaves at home.

The human condition. Though based on the severity of the behavior it might be a little concerning. No need to worry about the preternatural, though.

Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

Cue maniacal laughing now.

Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

Drinking blood is not a good idea. Especially if it's someone else's blood. And animal blood isn't exactly sanitary. Believing it's how to attain Satan? No idea but I somewhat doubt it. (From what I've read about real life vampires, or anyway those who think they're vampires, they see it more as a sex act.)

Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

If this nut hadn't lost me before he'd had done it with this. I didn't know there were still people out there who saw cable as evil. Sure, there's a lot of garbage, but evidence of being Goth? The road to Hell? Tell me this is a joke.

Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

Video games vary a lot in quality. I happen to like first person shooters that dock points for hitting a civilian. There are also some really cool ones where you fight monsters. And role-playing games are kinda like acting, with a lot of improve and cool battle scenes.

Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

Remember what I said about computer geeks at the start of this post? Yeah? Thought so.

I think that's enough for now.